productive day :D

okay.. i started my day with an ok mood :) yay for not having arghh-i'm-so-lazy-today mood. the form 5 students are sitting for the EXCEL 2 exam until the next tuesday. hooray for that. that means i can use the time allocated for the t&l preps to do my panitia filing system. officers from unit jaminan kualiti or something sounds like that will be observing our school on this 14 august. so, all the ketua panitia and the secretaries are now busy updating the content of files. i myself have 23 files to look for. 22 are from the panitia sains and 1 is for the kelab sukan & rekreasi. ok. enough for the introduction. so, i started replacing the old yellowish file with the new one. mind you, it was not my rajin attitude to change the file. even though it sounds easy, but trust me... i rather teaching for straight 10 periods. every time i took out the file's content, i realize something was missing. being a perfectionist i think i am a perfectionist cos i want everything to be perfect i am (which is in my opinion is not very helpful in situation like this), i tried to find the missing pieces. senior teachers told me i don't have to push myself looking for something which is papers for the previous years since the panitia was handed to me only in 2008.. this is how i realized i'm a perfectionist. that's why i'm not excel in most of things. *sigh* ok. never mind about that. so, i stayed back until 5pm but still, i haven't finished with the filing. heheheh *wink* hm.. what is the purpose of this post?? oh yes.. actually i just want to show u some pics of the clutterness of my desk...hihi.. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen. this is my desk.. (boooooo!!!) T___T it is an object where you can put two bottles of water, glue, purse and to add on the decor, put the banana fritters on your wallet.. hehe.. i took this photo after i had my lunch. i felt so hopeless to mind about the mess. my goal was "complete the filing" which obviously i failed. owh. by the way. i was tumpang my neighbour's desk.. hehe.. she was already going back home.. so i just tumpang la.. heheh.. hurm.. even in this pic the desks look ridiculously small for teachers. i wonder when we'll get a bigger table... p/s : i've clear the mess before i left home.. in case you are wondering la... ;) ...

forgive vs forget

people forgive and forget. me? i forgive.. but never forget (despite how much i've tried) i hate to say but yes.. maybe i'm a malicious. or the cut was too deep to heal.. or maybe i'm traumatized.. or maybe i'm just plain stupid.. or.. what ever.. .... enough of my endless angry entry.. hihi.. i'm nut.. ok.. few updates.. i'm going for a camping end of this week.. from friday to sunday.. i love camping.. but for leisure.. i'm not into that kind of 'rambo' camping.. kind of survival camp.. 'eat what you can get', sleep where you can lie'.. and sort of that thing. i love sleeping in the tent.. going for sight seeing.. bathing in the river (no leech pleeesaee).. and do simple activity like abseiling. i'm not interested in flying fox. boring. one more thing.. i wish i can stay under a tree reading my fav novel without having to worry about the lesson plan T___T, teaching preps, meetings, marking books etc.. and rowing down the river.. floating along the stream.. listening to bird chirping.. soft sun rays on my face.. listening to the sound of flowing river.. its so heaven, isn't it? :) hurm.... see.. i still have beauty inside of me :) its just that i get upset easily ...

@>---

it's always about me.. i always think that being 'me' is always the hardest part.. i don't know why is it so hard to please everybody and myself.. i was hurt before and now i hurt people around me.. and then i hurt myself.. things keep going round and round in circle.. going nowhere.. at least that is what i think.. i am an angry person.. i'm mad with situation around me.. i'm mad with people around me.. i'm mad with myself for being grumpy almost all the time.. i blame it on others for making me mad.. and feel sorry for those who i've taken out my anger on them.. and those people will mad at me.. and i'm sad cause they don't know that i'm not mad at them.. i'm sad cause i thought they understand me.. and i'm sad cause i know nobody deserves to be treated that way... i want them to know that i need help.. even when i didn't say a word.. just to stop this madness.. and what should i do now.. i'm the hurt person.. that hurt myself.. and people around me.. ....

people who are hurt will hurt

so it says... i was watching a program on tv.. Oprah maybe.. i couldn't remember.. it was something about how people who was living life in hell manage to survive and get better life.. i am more interested in a quote said by the guest "people who hurt hurt" simply mean people who are hurt might or will hurt others. its true.. people who've been hurt and abused physically and mentally will do the same to other people. and the 'other people' who are hurt will hurt other people and this other people will hurt other and it goes on like a curse. but hurting people doesn't always satisfy the 'hurter'. sometimes unconsciously they might hurt people they dear and love the most and in other way, they are hurt themselves. again. what goes around comes around. ...

some kine of cheating????

my sist who is currently studying at an IPTA in Perak just went back to her campus last week. She bought the ticket online via Maybank2U direct debit. I've been using the same method since i was studying in JB and just recently bought tickets for my other sist WITHOUT extra charge for using Maybank2u direct debit service. But my sist just spotted this in the booking information in my air asia account. and this one is the travel itenerary they sent to my email:

any explanation??

missing moment

for a start.. i'm a bad freezer.. yep. Why? Because, i freeze things when i feel like doing it. It shouldn't be that way.. Few things that i've missed to freeze ON TIME :

• My convocation pictures
• My KDP Bestari pictures
• Sort of get-to-know-your-brother-in-law picnic
• My engagement pictures

Things i've done in previous few weeks:

1. menyiapkan hiasan hantaran for my engagement
2. officially a fiance to mr mohd fadhlie ab khalil
3. being observed by mr santana rajan (coordinator of KDP Bestari)

That's all :) so, enjoy the pics :D

On my so-called engagement day :) (12 july 2008)

engagement agreement 12 july 2008

engagement ring

chubby cheeck on the engagement day 12 july 2008 few attempt to decorate the fruit salad (?) at sarizah's house (during my KDP Bestari) smiley salad personal decor cuti-cuti malaysia in kudat (1-4 may 2008) fishing @ esplanade (1 may 2008) i'm really fishing.ok.. we'll never be alone... (-_-) my sisss in action.. (-______-)~~

Pics during get-to-know-your-brother-in-law-to-be picnic venue : Pantai Bak-Bak (2 may 2008) i may say that they are quite 'obsessed' with their bro-in-law-to-be (-_-)..... see.. (that's my forehead caught in the camera) and more.. and more.. and more.. and this one is sooooo obvious (-_-)~~~ hahahaha!! the prove of my sis' (-_-)~~ and.. owh.. finally.. :) hehehehe.. ;) ok.. enuf.. here another yummy shots.. :D~~ before... and err.. after??

heeeeeeeeeeeheeeee ;) another shots from my (-_-) siss....

ena & cikin

ela & ena

ela and enda err...... (-_-) finally.... :) view of Pantai Bak-Bak

special thanks to my family for their love and support.. i love u all.... ...